So we are finally going back to site. It has been nice to be in the city with running water and a toilet seat, but we are feeling like we need to get back and stay at site for a while.
I added a "wish list" of sorts off to the side of the blog. None of it is stuff we need but sometimes mustard or mayo would be good on a piece of bread with an egg and tomato.
Uncle Dan asked about Christmas here and what was the same and what was different. Unfortunately, because we were in the city for the holiday we can't be out after dark--thus no Christmas Eve service. On Sunday we were going to try a church in town that we sawa flyers for but walked to where we thought it was and there was not a building or a person in site. So, needless to say we really haven't been able to compare. Between being sick the first week or two, and then on Med Hold we haven't had too much of a chance to integrate with the communities. It is actually very frustrating. But we are hoping that the coming months we'll be able to dive right in and get connected. I am guessing this will be the most frustrating part of the whole experience; getting connected, and actually finding a place to make a REAL difference.
Hope this finds all of you safe and happy. Probably will update in a month or two.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Embarassing Story #1
I'm calling this embarrassing Story #1 because I assume there will be many more to come.
There is a catch though
I want to see some embarrassing stories in return. Just to make myself fell better, I want o see I'm not the only one who makes a fool of himself. So, lets call this a competition, best embarrassing story wins...I'm not sure what you win I'll think about it, but you have to beat my story and it has to be since August of this year.
So anyway. We went to Site! We got all of our stuff unloaded from the Peace Corps transport and had tea with our headmaster and fellow teachers as a little welcoming party, and it was good. I mean we were tired from the long drive and the hectic, whirlwind that was the three days before departing but we had a nice time with them. It got to be around supper time we decided we were to tired to start a fire to cook and just basically went to bed thinking, "We'll unpack in the morning."
So then about 1:00-1:30 in the morning I wake up and think, "Hmmm, I'm not feeling very well maybe I should got to the chim."
For those that don't know the Chim (short for Chimbuzi) is an outdoor pit latrine, and ours is about 15-20 yards away from our back door.
So get up, put my pants on, fumble around for a shirt, and start to leave the house. I don't even get to the kitchen when I realize, "Oh junk!" And yes...some of you by now have guessed what happened...nikufumira which is Timbuka for "the place that I am continually from"(where I was born i.e. Blissfield, MI) or it can also mean "to evacuate the bowels."
To simplify--I pooed my pants.
As if that was not enough, I still had to go and had to go NOW. Of course being the good son and son-in-law that I am I had made sure to lock not only the door into our court yard but also the kitchen door and I placed the keys somewhere that was difficult to find. So now I've messed myself and I rummaging through the kitchen trying to find the keys. I find them get the kitchen door unlocked and am on the way to the courtyard door when the second wave hits. I run across the court yard to get as close to the drain pipe as I can (It is a cement court yard with cement walls on either side and our cooking-kitchen and bafa make the back wall.) drop my drawers, and proceed to completely loose control of all bodily functions for the next five minutes. Dry heaves, nikufumira, you name it-I'm doing it. By this time Tina is up and she's trying to find the key for the court yard door, and trying to find me toilet paper since we haven't yet unpacked, and trying to find my something clean for me to put on, and trying to keep calm while her husband is bent over in the corner looking like a fountain of mess.
Things settle down at this point, and I'm trying to calm myself down, and clean myself up, but I am just so flustered and completely wiped out from how violent/surprising/embarrassing/etc. the last few minutes have been I can hardly get myself taken care of. So, my awesome wife comes over and smiles and says,"I figured I'd have to do this someday but I thought I had a good 40 years to prepare myself." Of course it is exactly the right thing to say and we both laugh and get things taken care of. I basically spent the rest of the night on the floor of the kitchen (closser to the door) or squatting in the chim. The longest stretch between chim runs was maybe, maybe 20 minutes. Now I don't know if you have ever done wall squats or just squats in general but they are not exactly easy. and when you add on top of that going to the bathroom and on top of that nikufumira style it makes squats even more difficult. And when you are already drained of all energy and not sleeping and then doing a five minute squat every 5-10 minutes...well My thighs are it top performance. At least that is the silver lining I am trying to pull out of the story.
SO that is the embarrassing side of the story, but the saga continues.
Tina proceeds to get sick the following afternoon and so now we are taking turn in the chim and all our neighbors know we are sick because the only time they see us for the next 3 days is while we make the trip to the chim and back, so that is a little embarrassing too. But we got feeling better
AND THEN I developer a rash between my fingers that is itchy and red and keeps me awake at night because it itches so bad and I decide well maybe I should look in our Staying Healthy in Malawi Handbook and see if it can tell me anything, and I read that wouldn't you know it, the description for Scabies fits my conditions to a tee. So know I'm a little embarrassed because I'm walking around with this rash that may or may not be Scabies which I have no idea how I got it and if it is I'm worrying about passing it to Tina and blah blah blah. And that takes us to about two days ago. We decide okay this has to be looked at, head to Lilongwe where our Peace Corps Doctor is and I walk into his office hanging my head and admit, "I'm afraid I have Scabies." He just smiles and says have a seat looks at my hand and says,"No, no, no, Scabies wouldn't make your eye swell up like that."
"MY Eye?!" and sure enough my eye is swollen looking like I got in a fight at the bus station or something.
So in the end it is just some type of allergic reaction and now I am on steroids (like when you have bad poison ivy) and something stronger than benydrill, and tomorrow is Christmas.
Merry Christmas everyone (thanks for the reminder Shane).
So I hope that this makes you smile because now that it is done and over with I and smiling about it, especially because I've told the story here a few times and whenever I tell the story to one of the volunteers that has been here for a while they just nod their head and proceed to tell me their first poo-in-the-pants story.
But things are really going great here. we love our site our headmaster is a cool guy who just want to take care of us and take care of the school and get going in the right direction. We planted a garden with like 25 different kinds of seeds and things are already starting to sprout. And I don't know we're really doing good; we're comfortable enough that if it wasn't for the Scabies scare, we had thought of just staying at site for Christmas (all the other 1st year ed volunteers are headed to the beach).
Anyway, I actually had time to play with pictures and get some onto the computer(I think Tina got some up too). We are using Picassa, and I don't know if you need an account or not to view the pictures but I'm trying to just post a link that should take you right there.
and here it is
There is a catch though
I want to see some embarrassing stories in return. Just to make myself fell better, I want o see I'm not the only one who makes a fool of himself. So, lets call this a competition, best embarrassing story wins...I'm not sure what you win I'll think about it, but you have to beat my story and it has to be since August of this year.
So anyway. We went to Site! We got all of our stuff unloaded from the Peace Corps transport and had tea with our headmaster and fellow teachers as a little welcoming party, and it was good. I mean we were tired from the long drive and the hectic, whirlwind that was the three days before departing but we had a nice time with them. It got to be around supper time we decided we were to tired to start a fire to cook and just basically went to bed thinking, "We'll unpack in the morning."
So then about 1:00-1:30 in the morning I wake up and think, "Hmmm, I'm not feeling very well maybe I should got to the chim."
For those that don't know the Chim (short for Chimbuzi) is an outdoor pit latrine, and ours is about 15-20 yards away from our back door.
So get up, put my pants on, fumble around for a shirt, and start to leave the house. I don't even get to the kitchen when I realize, "Oh junk!" And yes...some of you by now have guessed what happened...nikufumira which is Timbuka for "the place that I am continually from"(where I was born i.e. Blissfield, MI) or it can also mean "to evacuate the bowels."
To simplify--I pooed my pants.
As if that was not enough, I still had to go and had to go NOW. Of course being the good son and son-in-law that I am I had made sure to lock not only the door into our court yard but also the kitchen door and I placed the keys somewhere that was difficult to find. So now I've messed myself and I rummaging through the kitchen trying to find the keys. I find them get the kitchen door unlocked and am on the way to the courtyard door when the second wave hits. I run across the court yard to get as close to the drain pipe as I can (It is a cement court yard with cement walls on either side and our cooking-kitchen and bafa make the back wall.) drop my drawers, and proceed to completely loose control of all bodily functions for the next five minutes. Dry heaves, nikufumira, you name it-I'm doing it. By this time Tina is up and she's trying to find the key for the court yard door, and trying to find me toilet paper since we haven't yet unpacked, and trying to find my something clean for me to put on, and trying to keep calm while her husband is bent over in the corner looking like a fountain of mess.
Things settle down at this point, and I'm trying to calm myself down, and clean myself up, but I am just so flustered and completely wiped out from how violent/surprising/embarrassing/etc. the last few minutes have been I can hardly get myself taken care of. So, my awesome wife comes over and smiles and says,"I figured I'd have to do this someday but I thought I had a good 40 years to prepare myself." Of course it is exactly the right thing to say and we both laugh and get things taken care of. I basically spent the rest of the night on the floor of the kitchen (closser to the door) or squatting in the chim. The longest stretch between chim runs was maybe, maybe 20 minutes. Now I don't know if you have ever done wall squats or just squats in general but they are not exactly easy. and when you add on top of that going to the bathroom and on top of that nikufumira style it makes squats even more difficult. And when you are already drained of all energy and not sleeping and then doing a five minute squat every 5-10 minutes...well My thighs are it top performance. At least that is the silver lining I am trying to pull out of the story.
SO that is the embarrassing side of the story, but the saga continues.
Tina proceeds to get sick the following afternoon and so now we are taking turn in the chim and all our neighbors know we are sick because the only time they see us for the next 3 days is while we make the trip to the chim and back, so that is a little embarrassing too. But we got feeling better
AND THEN I developer a rash between my fingers that is itchy and red and keeps me awake at night because it itches so bad and I decide well maybe I should look in our Staying Healthy in Malawi Handbook and see if it can tell me anything, and I read that wouldn't you know it, the description for Scabies fits my conditions to a tee. So know I'm a little embarrassed because I'm walking around with this rash that may or may not be Scabies which I have no idea how I got it and if it is I'm worrying about passing it to Tina and blah blah blah. And that takes us to about two days ago. We decide okay this has to be looked at, head to Lilongwe where our Peace Corps Doctor is and I walk into his office hanging my head and admit, "I'm afraid I have Scabies." He just smiles and says have a seat looks at my hand and says,"No, no, no, Scabies wouldn't make your eye swell up like that."
"MY Eye?!" and sure enough my eye is swollen looking like I got in a fight at the bus station or something.
So in the end it is just some type of allergic reaction and now I am on steroids (like when you have bad poison ivy) and something stronger than benydrill, and tomorrow is Christmas.
Merry Christmas everyone (thanks for the reminder Shane).
So I hope that this makes you smile because now that it is done and over with I and smiling about it, especially because I've told the story here a few times and whenever I tell the story to one of the volunteers that has been here for a while they just nod their head and proceed to tell me their first poo-in-the-pants story.
But things are really going great here. we love our site our headmaster is a cool guy who just want to take care of us and take care of the school and get going in the right direction. We planted a garden with like 25 different kinds of seeds and things are already starting to sprout. And I don't know we're really doing good; we're comfortable enough that if it wasn't for the Scabies scare, we had thought of just staying at site for Christmas (all the other 1st year ed volunteers are headed to the beach).
Anyway, I actually had time to play with pictures and get some onto the computer(I think Tina got some up too). We are using Picassa, and I don't know if you need an account or not to view the pictures but I'm trying to just post a link that should take you right there.
and here it is
http://picasaweb.google.com/zwaterbury/MalawiPhotosAttempt1?feat=directlink Check them out, most are from homestay and training. |
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
On our way
We swear in today in about 2 hours. We are excited, nervous, exhilarated and basically bursting with anticipation.
I've loved the comments from everyone especially concerning the last post. I still need to process everything that was said but know that I am thinking about your comments and that is good. One of the goals for me in Peace Corps is to actively Think. Or actively assess how I think, so I thank you all for your help in that.
No deep thoughts today though. I'm to focused on swearing in and then shopping for some stuff for site afterwards and then we leave at 6:30 in the morning but we have to [pick up our bank cards and we might need to stop tomorrow for so furniture...in other words I'm too busy to think.
Talk to you again. (a month or so Maybe Christmas we'll get in to the city.)
Oh I don't know if Tina had this in her blog but I'll be teaching Form 1&3 English (freshman and juniors) also Form 1&2 Life Skills and Form 1 math. That's right ladies and gents Zeb is teaching Math. Its scary I know but you gotta do what you gotta do. School starts the 5th of January (here they write it 5-01-09). It is rainy season so it rain everyday, but the entire country is becoming green instead of brown. Gotta go.
I've loved the comments from everyone especially concerning the last post. I still need to process everything that was said but know that I am thinking about your comments and that is good. One of the goals for me in Peace Corps is to actively Think. Or actively assess how I think, so I thank you all for your help in that.
No deep thoughts today though. I'm to focused on swearing in and then shopping for some stuff for site afterwards and then we leave at 6:30 in the morning but we have to [pick up our bank cards and we might need to stop tomorrow for so furniture...in other words I'm too busy to think.
Talk to you again. (a month or so Maybe Christmas we'll get in to the city.)
Oh I don't know if Tina had this in her blog but I'll be teaching Form 1&3 English (freshman and juniors) also Form 1&2 Life Skills and Form 1 math. That's right ladies and gents Zeb is teaching Math. Its scary I know but you gotta do what you gotta do. School starts the 5th of January (here they write it 5-01-09). It is rainy season so it rain everyday, but the entire country is becoming green instead of brown. Gotta go.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
What is Real?
Just had our site visit. We are going to be living in Kachechea about and hour north of Mizuzu and 10 minutes south of Rumpi. We are super excited. Everything at site seems awesome.
I got a letter back from my mother this week too. She was commenting on a letter I wrote her where I said that life here (Malawi) is so real. She asked, "What is REAL?" and explained how she has a different life than Abby and Abby's is different from Mine and Tina's and so what is REAL?
It's a good question and I'm glad she asked. I've really had to think about it. And here's what I've got so far... I think REAL is hard.
In my old life (two months ago)I pretended that things were hard. Like teaching at a school with 30-35 students in one was hard. Only getting one box of paper for the term was hard. Having only 1 class set of Huck Finn to share between three teacher and figuring out when you can use it was hard. But really I was pretending this stuff was hard. REAL is HARD. real is having 60-100 freshman in a single classroom with 25 desks 3 at a desk and the rest on the ground. Real is giving teachers 2 notebooks of 80 half pages for the year. Real is having a (one [1]) copy of a novel that will be on the federal exam. I pretended that paying for the water, gas, electric, phone, Internet, cell phone, etc. hard or was reality, but it is pretend hard. It is real hard when you plant maize and hope that the floods, pests, monkeys, elephants or drought don't destroy your harvest because if it does your families food is gone for the year. Real is shucking corn by hand and separating the chaff using the wind but using it to feed the pig, taking the rest to the mill and storing it in your house even though the rats are attracted to it. Pretend is upset because the flu vaccines ran out this week and I have to wait a month. Real is hoping your kid does die of Malaria before age 5.
What makes it even more real is knowing that people are just born into this and there is no time to pretend. No time to work out of, or up from, real life in a life of "leisure." And this is as far as my thought process has gone. I get to this point and my head starts to spin because I say, "What about the single mom working two jobs and deciding between food and medicine; isn't her life real?" or the foster kid or the shut-in or so many other people...aren't their lives hard? Aren't they living real life and making it work....
and than I thought some more (I wrote this in my journal and stopped there because the sun set and I didn't know where the matches were to light the candle to continue to write so I went to bed and started again in the morning)...
So real is hard. Life is hard; its hard for us, but our hard is very different hard than that of billions of people who's lives are really hard.
but that is only half of what makes things real. REAL is fun, enjoyment, contentedness, laughter and love. These things I DO know and I don't think I've pretended to know them, but maybe I've made some of them a bit more complicated. Like Fun. I have fun when I go to the lake jump in a tube and fly around in circles, or I get on a roller coaster and scream on every hill, or when I rent a movie that has surround sound and 10 hours of extra features. I mean come one this stuff is fun, but yesterday I gave a kid a 10 cent kaleidoscope and he was amazed. I watched two kids, each had a stick and a leaf, and they played for two hours; i never figured out what they were playing but they were having fun.
The same goes for all the others; I know contentedness, enjoyment, etc. but I know them in a complicated way. Here they are simple, easier to find/see. There are times I find myself recognizing the simple way; like when Tim (another PCT) and I have a bouncy ball and start play monkey in the middle with just the two of us (try it sometime, its fun) and we just laugh at how much fun we are having. At home I wouldn't go over to Ryan's (Good friend back home in Michigan) house and say, hey let's play with a bouncy ball!" NO! I'd say, "Let's turn on the giant television with surround sound and play Halo with people in California." But I'm recognizing the simplicity. A Va'mama laughing with her sister at nothing, or an agogo (grandparent) smiling at a kids first whittling stick. I recognize them because I've seen them at home, at Christmas, or Apple Butter, or Sunday afternoons. It makes me glad that I haven't complicated my life too much.
But that is as far as my thought process on What is Real has taken me.
Anyway. Check out Tina's blog. it is tinaandzebinmalawi.blogspot.com
Sarah thanks for the Bible verses.
Josh thanks for the insight and and encouragement.
Klumper thanks for praying about language barriers (after site visit we will definitely be practicing hard-core)
Moms and Dads thanks for the letters and packages (we are going to have a sweet garden)
Renee thanks for the prayers
ANd I know I read more comments than that but after 4 days of meeting new people and trying to do it in a language that I hardly understand my brain in racked.
We really do appreciate all of the comments, they make us laugh and cry (Michelle) but they remind us how lucky we are and why we are able to be here doing cool things for other people that deserve our help.
I got a letter back from my mother this week too. She was commenting on a letter I wrote her where I said that life here (Malawi) is so real. She asked, "What is REAL?" and explained how she has a different life than Abby and Abby's is different from Mine and Tina's and so what is REAL?
It's a good question and I'm glad she asked. I've really had to think about it. And here's what I've got so far... I think REAL is hard.
In my old life (two months ago)I pretended that things were hard. Like teaching at a school with 30-35 students in one was hard. Only getting one box of paper for the term was hard. Having only 1 class set of Huck Finn to share between three teacher and figuring out when you can use it was hard. But really I was pretending this stuff was hard. REAL is HARD. real is having 60-100 freshman in a single classroom with 25 desks 3 at a desk and the rest on the ground. Real is giving teachers 2 notebooks of 80 half pages for the year. Real is having a (one [1]) copy of a novel that will be on the federal exam. I pretended that paying for the water, gas, electric, phone, Internet, cell phone, etc. hard or was reality, but it is pretend hard. It is real hard when you plant maize and hope that the floods, pests, monkeys, elephants or drought don't destroy your harvest because if it does your families food is gone for the year. Real is shucking corn by hand and separating the chaff using the wind but using it to feed the pig, taking the rest to the mill and storing it in your house even though the rats are attracted to it. Pretend is upset because the flu vaccines ran out this week and I have to wait a month. Real is hoping your kid does die of Malaria before age 5.
What makes it even more real is knowing that people are just born into this and there is no time to pretend. No time to work out of, or up from, real life in a life of "leisure." And this is as far as my thought process has gone. I get to this point and my head starts to spin because I say, "What about the single mom working two jobs and deciding between food and medicine; isn't her life real?" or the foster kid or the shut-in or so many other people...aren't their lives hard? Aren't they living real life and making it work....
and than I thought some more (I wrote this in my journal and stopped there because the sun set and I didn't know where the matches were to light the candle to continue to write so I went to bed and started again in the morning)...
So real is hard. Life is hard; its hard for us, but our hard is very different hard than that of billions of people who's lives are really hard.
but that is only half of what makes things real. REAL is fun, enjoyment, contentedness, laughter and love. These things I DO know and I don't think I've pretended to know them, but maybe I've made some of them a bit more complicated. Like Fun. I have fun when I go to the lake jump in a tube and fly around in circles, or I get on a roller coaster and scream on every hill, or when I rent a movie that has surround sound and 10 hours of extra features. I mean come one this stuff is fun, but yesterday I gave a kid a 10 cent kaleidoscope and he was amazed. I watched two kids, each had a stick and a leaf, and they played for two hours; i never figured out what they were playing but they were having fun.
The same goes for all the others; I know contentedness, enjoyment, etc. but I know them in a complicated way. Here they are simple, easier to find/see. There are times I find myself recognizing the simple way; like when Tim (another PCT) and I have a bouncy ball and start play monkey in the middle with just the two of us (try it sometime, its fun) and we just laugh at how much fun we are having. At home I wouldn't go over to Ryan's (Good friend back home in Michigan) house and say, hey let's play with a bouncy ball!" NO! I'd say, "Let's turn on the giant television with surround sound and play Halo with people in California." But I'm recognizing the simplicity. A Va'mama laughing with her sister at nothing, or an agogo (grandparent) smiling at a kids first whittling stick. I recognize them because I've seen them at home, at Christmas, or Apple Butter, or Sunday afternoons. It makes me glad that I haven't complicated my life too much.
But that is as far as my thought process on What is Real has taken me.
Anyway. Check out Tina's blog. it is tinaandzebinmalawi.blogspot.com
Sarah thanks for the Bible verses.
Josh thanks for the insight and and encouragement.
Klumper thanks for praying about language barriers (after site visit we will definitely be practicing hard-core)
Moms and Dads thanks for the letters and packages (we are going to have a sweet garden)
Renee thanks for the prayers
ANd I know I read more comments than that but after 4 days of meeting new people and trying to do it in a language that I hardly understand my brain in racked.
We really do appreciate all of the comments, they make us laugh and cry (Michelle) but they remind us how lucky we are and why we are able to be here doing cool things for other people that deserve our help.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Well I have like 10 minutes online. We are in lilongwe and just getting our bank accounts set up and stopped in the Peace Corps office. Tina and I are learning Chitenbuka which means we'll be in the north. Right now we live in a village in a mud it with a thatch roof. It is rather hot here which surprisingly makes me a selfish jerk. I get to a point where I just get snotty with people because...I don't know, just because.
Its like everything here has to do with the little things. Little things annoy me like, why is the truck 10 minutes late; why is the language class at a different place today; why can't I find my toothbrush. And it flips me out. It gets me a bad mood and I loose perspective of why I'm here. But then it is the little things that are just awesome like My students want to take picture with me on his camera (I don't even know if it had film in it); my host family's son's face lights up when I toss a bouncey ball at him: my host mother looks at me like I am giving her an extravagant gift and it is a bunch of 4 carrots.
Life is simple here. You have what is in the village and what is in the village is all there is. Days drag by, and weeks shoot past. We miss everyone back home. Thank you for the posts on the blog it is very very good to hear from people. Shane you make me laugh, and I bet we are the best 2 man somersault team in the business (haven't seen any Malawians though). I hope Apple Butter was fun if you did it, and thanks giving goes well.
Its like everything here has to do with the little things. Little things annoy me like, why is the truck 10 minutes late; why is the language class at a different place today; why can't I find my toothbrush. And it flips me out. It gets me a bad mood and I loose perspective of why I'm here. But then it is the little things that are just awesome like My students want to take picture with me on his camera (I don't even know if it had film in it); my host family's son's face lights up when I toss a bouncey ball at him: my host mother looks at me like I am giving her an extravagant gift and it is a bunch of 4 carrots.
Life is simple here. You have what is in the village and what is in the village is all there is. Days drag by, and weeks shoot past. We miss everyone back home. Thank you for the posts on the blog it is very very good to hear from people. Shane you make me laugh, and I bet we are the best 2 man somersault team in the business (haven't seen any Malawians though). I hope Apple Butter was fun if you did it, and thanks giving goes well.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
17 hours
Well...
Our staging event is over and in less than 17 hours Tina and I will be on a plane on our way to Africa.
First thanks for all the encouraging comments. I know we have only been away for a few short hours but for us it is already beginning to feel as though it has been a lifetime.
Our staging has been an intense time of looking at some of the most difficult things that we may face over the next few months and years. There have been several times where it was definitely gut check time. And after checking our gut, I am reassured that we have made the right decision.
To be honest, up until this point, Tina and I were the only people I knew who were either crazy enough or stupid enough to think that Peace Corps was something that sounded appealing. It made me feel...special...sometimes in good ways because many of you have told us "good job, I am proud of you, you are perfect for the Peace Corps, etc." and other times not so a good. There were feelings of separation, being different, feelings of guilt many people don't experience about leaving people I care about behind. Once we got here though I met 20 other people who were crazy and stupid enough to think that Peace Corps was a good idea. And it was reassuring. During training I found out that there are over 8,000 people serving with the Peace Corps right now. And my thought now is no longer "Am I crazy?" my thought is instead "8,000+ people do this everyday; thus, so can I."
I could write about how I am feeling nervous or excited or both, but the truth is, I'm not feeling any of those things. Well, not to the extent that I was feeling them the last few months. Those feelings have faded into something better I think. I am still excited but not in the roller coaster going over the hill kind of way. More like the excitement you feel when you realize for the first time that a decision you made at a certain point in time was exactly the right decision. I think the emotion is confidence. Not the bull-headed naive confidence of just graduating college and being able to jump into a job and know everything-there-is-to-know without asking a single person. It is the quiet confidence when everything is at peace in your mind; everything has been reconciled, and I am ready to move forward.
I am starting to tear up as I sit here writing this because I know what I have to write next.
We won't be able to update our blog or read your comments for a while. For the next two and half to three months we'll be training big time. Complete immersion in culture language and technical stuff. So, no news is good news. I hope the next few months will treat you well. We'll update again maybe the end of November-ish.
This is me, signing of for now,
good night
Our staging event is over and in less than 17 hours Tina and I will be on a plane on our way to Africa.
First thanks for all the encouraging comments. I know we have only been away for a few short hours but for us it is already beginning to feel as though it has been a lifetime.
Our staging has been an intense time of looking at some of the most difficult things that we may face over the next few months and years. There have been several times where it was definitely gut check time. And after checking our gut, I am reassured that we have made the right decision.
To be honest, up until this point, Tina and I were the only people I knew who were either crazy enough or stupid enough to think that Peace Corps was something that sounded appealing. It made me feel...special...sometimes in good ways because many of you have told us "good job, I am proud of you, you are perfect for the Peace Corps, etc." and other times not so a good. There were feelings of separation, being different, feelings of guilt many people don't experience about leaving people I care about behind. Once we got here though I met 20 other people who were crazy and stupid enough to think that Peace Corps was a good idea. And it was reassuring. During training I found out that there are over 8,000 people serving with the Peace Corps right now. And my thought now is no longer "Am I crazy?" my thought is instead "8,000+ people do this everyday; thus, so can I."
I could write about how I am feeling nervous or excited or both, but the truth is, I'm not feeling any of those things. Well, not to the extent that I was feeling them the last few months. Those feelings have faded into something better I think. I am still excited but not in the roller coaster going over the hill kind of way. More like the excitement you feel when you realize for the first time that a decision you made at a certain point in time was exactly the right decision. I think the emotion is confidence. Not the bull-headed naive confidence of just graduating college and being able to jump into a job and know everything-there-is-to-know without asking a single person. It is the quiet confidence when everything is at peace in your mind; everything has been reconciled, and I am ready to move forward.
I am starting to tear up as I sit here writing this because I know what I have to write next.
We won't be able to update our blog or read your comments for a while. For the next two and half to three months we'll be training big time. Complete immersion in culture language and technical stuff. So, no news is good news. I hope the next few months will treat you well. We'll update again maybe the end of November-ish.
This is me, signing of for now,
good night
Monday, September 22, 2008
3 Days to Go
Well there are three days left before we leave. The last two weeks have been... well... interesting. I think, though, they have mostly been good. The problem has been that we are trying to catch up with everyone before we go. See, everyone we get together with is another goodbye; it's a bitter-sweet time for us.
One other reason that things have been interesting is the fact that this is really happening. Tina and I started the process of becoming Peace Corps volunteers in March of 2007. It has been for us a vague idea that was always just around the corner. One of those things that, if we were to chase it, it would flit away like a butterfly. We have sacrificed so much to become a part of this amazing adventure and for so long it seemed like that was the thing itself, the sacrifice and process, and now it seems all of a sudden it is not a butterfly flitting about. It is reality. We are going to be living in a place where we will be the only white face for a hundred miles. We will be trying to cultivate relationships with people who are very different from ourselves. We will be striving to do REAL good. We will test ourselves, our marriage, our faith, the very essence of ourselves in the coming and months...and...it scares me to death.
It is a good type of scare though. It is the scare you get those few seconds before you make a decision that will impact the rest of our life. The scare you feel when you select a college, or get down on one knee with a ring in your pocket, or actually move out of your parents house (I may not be able to say that because I STILL haven't moved out of there, in fact I just put a whole bunch back in last month but I digress). It is the fear that wells up inside when you know the next few moments will change your life, not for the good or bad, not one way or the other, but just change it somehow.
Lastly the reason I say these weeks have been interesting is because we have been shopping for stuff non-stop. At least it feels that way. And anyone who knows Tina and I knows just how much we love shopping (please read with the fully intended sarcasm). This is interesting because half of the appeal of Peace Corps service for me was to learn what it would be like to truly live simply; to live without the stuff that we have that tends to cause so many complications; no cars, TV, computers, ringing phones, blah, blah, blah. And here I am the last few weeks trying to decide if I should find a way to buy and pack one of those solar powered lawn light things, you know the ones you put next to the side walk, just so I can have a light in my hut/house whichever the case may be. I mean come on. Am I really as dependent on this stuff as my brain is telling me I am? I feel like maybe I've woven my life into this complicated junk so much that I might not be able to really experience living simply, and I am left to ponder if that is bad or no.
One other reason that things have been interesting is the fact that this is really happening. Tina and I started the process of becoming Peace Corps volunteers in March of 2007. It has been for us a vague idea that was always just around the corner. One of those things that, if we were to chase it, it would flit away like a butterfly. We have sacrificed so much to become a part of this amazing adventure and for so long it seemed like that was the thing itself, the sacrifice and process, and now it seems all of a sudden it is not a butterfly flitting about. It is reality. We are going to be living in a place where we will be the only white face for a hundred miles. We will be trying to cultivate relationships with people who are very different from ourselves. We will be striving to do REAL good. We will test ourselves, our marriage, our faith, the very essence of ourselves in the coming and months...and...it scares me to death.
It is a good type of scare though. It is the scare you get those few seconds before you make a decision that will impact the rest of our life. The scare you feel when you select a college, or get down on one knee with a ring in your pocket, or actually move out of your parents house (I may not be able to say that because I STILL haven't moved out of there, in fact I just put a whole bunch back in last month but I digress). It is the fear that wells up inside when you know the next few moments will change your life, not for the good or bad, not one way or the other, but just change it somehow.
Lastly the reason I say these weeks have been interesting is because we have been shopping for stuff non-stop. At least it feels that way. And anyone who knows Tina and I knows just how much we love shopping (please read with the fully intended sarcasm). This is interesting because half of the appeal of Peace Corps service for me was to learn what it would be like to truly live simply; to live without the stuff that we have that tends to cause so many complications; no cars, TV, computers, ringing phones, blah, blah, blah. And here I am the last few weeks trying to decide if I should find a way to buy and pack one of those solar powered lawn light things, you know the ones you put next to the side walk, just so I can have a light in my hut/house whichever the case may be. I mean come on. Am I really as dependent on this stuff as my brain is telling me I am? I feel like maybe I've woven my life into this complicated junk so much that I might not be able to really experience living simply, and I am left to ponder if that is bad or no.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
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